Why self improvement is keeping you stuck

Have you noticed that YouTube is filled with videos about transforming your life, outworking 99% of people, working a month's worth of work in a week, and becoming significantly more disciplined?

They are everywhere, but there is an obvious problem with these types of videos.

(My videos don't have this problem.)

The big problem: most of these videos keep you stuck.

The videos may get you to adopt a particular morning routine, take up a particular diet, start a particular workout program, do these particular habits, or eliminate these negative habits. And if you do all that, then you will change your life.

Maybe in the short term, because you can white knuckle yourself through anything for a couple of days.

But they're usually not helpful in driving actual changes in long-term behaviour. You typically fall back into the same old habits and patterns.

Why?

The reason is that you are the same person, just trying to imitate a 'guru' on the internet.

You have years of being exactly who you are now. You can change your life by following exactly what you are told in these videos. But you are always going to come back to what you have always done.

Years of programming will not be rewritten in a few weeks of taking cold showers.

That's the harsh truth.

• taking cold showers is not the answer

• eating beef liver is not answer

• waking up early is not the answer

• getting sunlight in the first hour of the morning is not answer

• journaling is not the answer

• meditation is not the answer

• talking to a friend is not the answer

• no more scrolling on your phone is not the answer

• nofap is not the answer

Do you get it?

Each of these habits has benefits in their own right, but none is the answer you are looking for because there is no one true answer.

Even if there was one answer, no one could give it to you. And it could not be directly mapped to your life.

The only answer is the one that you create for yourself.

It may not feel like it, but you already know what to do. If you are watching these types of videos, it is because life is demanding something from you.

Life is calling you to become someone different.

That feeling you have — the desire to be something more than you are is a gift. It's time to change your identity.

It's time to listen to that call.

It's time to build that Project.

Why you need a project

Here's the thing.

• Why work harder than everyone else if you have nothing to work hard at

• Why wake up earlier than everyone else if you have nothing to wake up early for

• Why stop scrolling on your phone if you have nothing that demands your attention?

Have you ever considered "maybe the reason why I don't do the things I think I should do is because I don't have a reason to do them?".

Too many people think discipline is the input. That's wrong. Discipline is the output when you have something you want to be disciplined for.

Put differently, you need a project that pulls everything else into place. The Project gives you context for why you are doing everything you are doing. The Project is the filter through which your behaviours are passed.

You can't force this. You first have to go through a process to build your Project. You will see why soon.

Most people would agree that bad habits are mistakes. But the bad habits are only 'mistakes' if they are compromising the project.

Staying up late at night is only a mistake if it stops me from writing ideas first thing in the morning.

Eating a bunch of junk food is only a mistake if it prevents me from bulking or cutting.

Scrolling on my phone is only a mistake; it bleeds into the work blocks of my projects.

Without the Project, these 'bad habits' are not mistakes. They are just your habits.

When you dedicate yourself to a project, you begin to do everything differently because you don't want to compromise the Project.

Late nights, junk food, and doom sessions feel like heavy mistakes. Every time you do them, there is this deep sense that you are betraying yourself.

Yes, it's a really shit feeling but it is actually a fantastic sign. You feel intensely terrible about what you have done because your identity is shifting to someone who doesn't make those mistakes. You have further motivation to improve.

The point is that the Project is the reaction vessel for your transformation to occur.

When I refer to a project, am I not talking about your purpose in life or your life's mission — forget those things for now. A project is something you are doing in your life right now.

It can be anything, but there is a catch.

No one can tell you what to do. No one can give you the Project. It needs to be your own. There's a criterion the Project needs to satisfy for it to produce the results you want.

We are going to talk about the experimental model for building projects so that you can build yours.

How to build a project that changes your life

Last year my dad, sister and I went on a family trip to Japan. My dad wanted to lose some weight in preparation for the trip. For 6 months leading up to the trip, he trained in the gym most days and was ultra consistent with his diet. He made the most progress he has ever made, getting down to the low 90s kg.

That's the magic of projects, it pulls everything into place. But his Project was time bound. The Project was for Japan, not for himself. When we came back, the motivation and discipline started fading away, and the kilos started to pack back on.

Contrast this to Sam Sulek

I saw a clip of Sam Sulek talking about the importance of a purpose while he was driving home from the gym. He said, "Every day I have a goal that centres on what I do — bulk or cut".

I doubt that Sam's purpose in life is bulking or cutting, but bodybuilding is a very important project. The Project gives him goals to achieve and problems to solve.

For Sam, the Project isn't time-bound. Some goals will be but not the Project itself. A goal is to get shredded for a competition. A project is how jacked and lean can I get?

See the difference?

When it comes to the gym and bodybuilding, Sam and I have the same Project. I want to know how big and lean I can get too (naturally). Sam wants to go pro with his Project, I don't.

I go through seasons of intensity. I have seasons where making gains is the priority. I have other seasons where I need to focus on the other projects I want to build. There are also seasons where I am not building anything, but we will get to that.

So you can see why projects are not goals and how projects are unique to each individual.

You don't need to stress yourself out about finding an all encompassing purpose. That will happen naturally as you take on more projects, follow your gut and develop your unique taste.

But you do need to have a project that orients and gives structure to your day.

You need something to work on that you have chosen and that correctly stacks your intrinsic motivators. The first step is to go inwards because you already know what you need to do.

Experiment Inwards

A few minutes ago, I wrote that life is calling you to be someone different. When people hear the call, they usually go outwards before they go inward.

The thing is, you already know what you need to do. The voice inside of you is just drowned by all the external voices. Friends, family, colleagues, managers, creators on YouTube, all are telling you specifically what you need to do.

Only you know because only you are you. But you have to go inside and listen to what your gut is telling you.

Your gut is the best compass you will ever have. The more you feed it, the more refined your taste will be and the better compass you will have.

Going inwards is a season of being. Take it easy. Don't try to force an outcome. Go on long walks, take naps, journal, exercise well, meditate, and experiment with any activity that promotes introspection.

Ask yourself what life demands from you.

Let your gut digest your situation.

Zooming out will give you a perspective. Eventually, the answer will rise to the surface. When that happens, experiment outwards.

Experiment outwards

Peak performers, the research shows, tend to start with a wide sampling period because they are hunting for a perfect match fit.

Steven Kotler, The Art of Impossible

I was like most kids. I was told university was the goal. Little did I know when I was younger that this was a path of specialisation.

School was not designed for you to sample what you were interested in. The first time you got to choose what you wanted to learn was when you were 15 or 16 years old.

By the age of 18, you had to decide what degree you would study at university. Your options narrow.

By 22, you decide what industry you are going to work in. Your options narrow again

If you don't guess correctly on the first attempt, you objectively fall behind those who did.

I was lucky I had a strong calling to engineering, so I pursued that. For the most part, it worked out for me, even though I am starting to change trajectory now.

The point is you won't find a perfect match unless you go through a wide sampling period of experimentation.

I honestly think this is a game of probability. You're lucky if you nail it early, but most people don't.

Most people do not find their perfect match. They became specialised and accepted their tiny cubicle as their domain. They don't have the courage to break out, and they allow themselves to slowly suffocate.

Clearly, that should be avoided.

Listening to random people will give you random results. But you can stack the odds in your favour by following your internal compass — listening to your gut.

The biggest regret of the dying is not living a life true to themselves. That is, conforming to expectations everyone else has of you rather than trusting your gut.

The best, most informative and most transformative experiences I have had always come from when I listened to my gut.

Writing birthday cards when I was little, hiking multi-day tracks, choosing chemical engineering, doing the internship in Fiji, moving to a new city twice, lifting weights, starting a blog and then eventually the YouTube was me trusting my gut.

And my gut has never let me down.

What was your answer to "What is life demanding from you right now?"? Answer the call. Experiment as much as it takes.

Trying a bunch of different things is not shining object syndrome. You are not a moth to a flame. Remember the best performers zig-zag across domains.

Imagine you are at a banquet. You want to sample as many different cuisines and dishes as possible before you taste all in one particular cuisine.

When you are ready to go all in, it's time to experiment down.

Experiment down

So you've listened to the call, answered it and experimented outward, now you need to go deep into your new Project.

Get obsessed.

Launch yourself into a season of doing.

Learn as much as you can about the thing. Experiment with different styles and perspectives and see what aligns with you the most.

Again, this is how you refine your taste.

I love training in the gym. Every now and then, I will mix up my training split: upper, lower, push, pull legs. But I always find myself coming back to the full body.

Full body for the win.

You can see the downward experimentation process in my YouTube videos. I have tried many different styles and formats over the last couple of years. Yet, I still have not created my own unique style. It's a process.

Experimenting requires more time to collect data. Three months is generally enough time to see if something is working or not.

During the process, you may discover your own unique perspective, and that is when it is time to experiment upwards.

Experiment upwards

You know the saying "learn the rules first so that you can break them later"? Experimenting upwards is when you get to break the rules.

Experimenting outwards means sampling as many different cuisines as possible, such as the buffet.

Experimenting downwards is choosing a cuisine and replicating recipes from your favourite chefs.

Experimenting upwards is when you let go of the imitation and you start innovating. You are developing your own taste. You are creating your own recipes.

Through iterations on your recipes and systems, your style and taste get more recognisable and distinguishable from everything else that currently exists.

If you are sharing your work publicly, this is the point where you have a unique brand that, when people see it, they automatically think of you.

If any of you have bought a couple of different workout programs, you know what one of Jeff Nippard's wrote pretty quickly.

You know when you are watching a Veritasium video, even if the audio is off and Derek isn't on screen.

If I gave you two unathored newsletters, one being Dan Koe's and the other being someone from Medium, you could quickly pick Dan's writing.

As the consumer, you recognised patterns in their work and attributed them to them.

Experimenting upwards is when you hone your craft and make something your own.

Eventually, you will reach a point where your skill level exceeds the challenge of your work. At this point, you face two options: You experiment upwards again, seeking a new level challenge. You begin the experimental cycle again.

You go inward, using your calibrated internal compass to give you a direction. You go through a sampling period until something clicks. You go deep and imitate what others have done. Finally, you make it your own.

Life operates in cycles. Seasons of being and seasons of doing.

If you are in an uncomfortable spot right now, you already know what you need to do. Following the exact advice from other people is only going to keep you stuck. Their advice is not tailored to you. But your gut is.

Your gut will lead you to the Project that pulls everything else together. The Project is the reaction vessel for your transformation to occur.

Build your project and experiment.

Thanks for reading,

Josh